Twat: The Night!--A Poem

Twat: The Night! is at Radar, and all through the place
Three girl’s with Tourette’s kept screaming Twat in my face
Young women dressed seductively, check their tresses with care
In hopes that studly Shane soon would be there

They were filled with the hope of luring her to their bed

While Shane can’t be bothered to comb the hair on her head

For she’s the Center of the Universe on Alice’s Sex Map

One really must wonder, “How does she not have ‘the clap?’

When out on the dance floor, there arose such a ruckus!

“Stop the Menace,” Lacy yelled, “She just wants to fuck us!”

Away from poor Shane, the ladies fled in a flash

They won’t go home with her now, not even for cash

Dana was snogging with her soup chef LaRack

“Gross,” Alice snarked, “I’m going to yack!”

Then what to her wandering eye should appear

But a hot heterosexual, proclaiming himself queer

He won her over quite quickly with his L.I.M shtick

And I knew in a moment I was gonna be sick

More rapid than eagles, each couple they came

Let’s whistle and shout and call them by name

Now, Lara’s on Dana, and Bette is on Tina

And Jenny’s dismantled by the stare of Marina

Oh no, here comes Tim, and they rush down the hall

Dash away! Dash away! To the bathroom stall!

So they secret away to the Planet restroom

Where they cuckold poor Tim, the naïve would-be groom

Jenny can’t be discovered, they must be discreet

Tim, look under the stall door, there are two pairs of feet!

Jenny channels Yoda; eviscerated, she is

Tim walks past Marina, pulls it out, and takes a whiz.

When he was finished, Tim turned around

Frantic, Jenny grabbed him, and they left with a bound

Meanwhile, at Casa de la Porter and Kennard

Tina’s preparing her body for L’il Gaymo PoorTard

No more drinking or Xanax. I’ll add vitamins to my diet

“Honey,” Bette says, “I’ve had a shitty day! Please, be quiet!”

So Tina looks all hurt, and Bette feels remorse

How can she atone?  A slurpee! Of course!

They retire to the bedroom for some hot make-up lovin’

Bette, treat Tina gently, she’s got a bun in the oven

Back at Radar, butch go-go dancers all strip if they wanna

Shane snorts a random drug, it’s not marijuana

Surprised, Shane starts tweaking, and rubbing her nose

She picks up a butch dancer, and starts removing her clothes

Twat! The Night is now over, it’s time to go home

And yes, once again, I am leaving alone

Jenny leaves with Tim, and LaRack leaves with Dana

Alice leaves with Lisa. What? That makes me insane-a

The three girls with Tourette’s leave the bar and they whistle.

They are drunk and obnoxious.  Man, where’s my pistol?

But I heard them exclaim, ere they ran out of sight

You big Gaymo to all, and to all Twat: The Night!


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