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They were filled with the hope of luring her to their bed
While Shane can’t be bothered to comb the hair on her head
For she’s the Center of the Universe on
One really must wonder, “How does she not have ‘the clap?’
When out on the dance floor, there arose such a ruckus!
“Stop the Menace,” Lacy yelled, “She just wants to fuck us!”
Away from poor Shane, the ladies fled in a flash
They won’t go home with her now, not even for cash
Dana was snogging with her soup chef LaRack
“Gross,”
Then what to her wandering eye should appear
But a hot heterosexual, proclaiming himself queer
He won her over quite quickly with his L.I.M shtick
And I knew in a moment I was gonna be sick
More rapid than eagles, each couple they came
Let’s whistle and shout and call them by name
Now, Lara’s on Dana, and Bette is on Tina
And Jenny’s dismantled by the stare of
Oh no, here comes Tim, and they rush down the hall
Dash away! Dash away! To the bathroom stall!
So they secret away to the Planet restroom
Where they cuckold poor Tim, the naïve would-be groom
Jenny can’t be discovered, they must be discreet
Tim, look under the stall door, there are two pairs of feet!
Jenny channels Yoda; eviscerated, she is
Tim walks past
When he was finished, Tim turned around
Frantic, Jenny grabbed him, and they left with a bound
Meanwhile, at Casa de la Porter and Kennard
Tina’s preparing her body for L’il Gaymo PoorTard
No more drinking or Xanax. I’ll add vitamins to my diet
“Honey,” Bette says, “I’ve had a shitty day! Please, be quiet!”
So Tina looks all hurt, and Bette feels remorse
How can she atone? A slurpee! Of course!
They retire to the bedroom for some hot make-up lovin’
Bette, treat Tina gently, she’s got a bun in the oven
Back at Radar, butch go-go dancers all strip if they wanna
Shane snorts a random drug, it’s not marijuana
Surprised, Shane starts tweaking, and rubbing her nose
She picks up a butch dancer, and starts removing her clothes
Twat! The Night is now over, it’s time to go home
And yes, once again, I am leaving alone
Jenny leaves with Tim, and LaRack leaves with Dana
The three girls with Tourette’s leave the bar and they whistle.
They are drunk and obnoxious. Man, where’s my pistol?
But I heard them exclaim, ere they ran out of sight
You big Gaymo to all, and to all Twat: The Night!
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